Have you ever dealt with someone at work who behaves like some of the most annoying, high-conflict people you’ve encountered in social media settings?

I had a clarifying moment the other day. While reading a recent Framelab newsletter piece by Dr. George Lakoff, the brilliant linguistics professor and political analyst, about the futility of arguing with online trolls, I realized how this personality type can also be a giant pain to deal with at work.

In academe, I’ve seen troll behaviors in both in-person and online environments. I’m sure that many readers have witnessed or experienced trolling in other occupations and professions as well. So, I think this is worth a deeper dive.

Defining the troll

An online troll, according to the Cambridge English Dictionary, is “someone who leaves an intentionally annoying or offensive message on the internet, in order to upset someone or to get attention or cause trouble.” Similarly, a generic troll is someone who would “intentionally do or say something annoying or offensive in order to upset someone, or to get attention or cause trouble.”

As I see it, one of the key definitional elements is intent. Troll behavior is about intentionally trying to get under someone’s skin, even when followed by astonished denials if called out on it. Deeper intentions may vary. The behavior could be designed simply to annoy or distract a perceived opponent or competitor. Or maybe it’s part of a more orchestrated campaign to undermine a co-worker.

I tend to ask myself where unwelcome work behaviors place on the broad spectrum, ranging between severe and targeted bullying, mobbing, and harassment on one end, and milder, unintentional incivilities and micro-aggressions on the other. The more intentionally harmful or destabilizing the behavior, the more it smacks of severe mistreatment.

Trolling definitely can be characterized as intentionally aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative in nature. As such, repeated, frequent trolling can be a component of workplace bullying or mobbing.

Trolling vs. genuine disagreements and faux pas

Let’s first establish some dividing lines here. Not every provocative or disagreeable statement or idea is trolling, even if it’s likely to stir discomfort or discontent. For example, just because someone opposes an idea you’ve expressed in a meeting doesn’t mean you’re being trolled. It could happen multiple times, in fact, due to fundamental differences of opinion about the matters at hand.

Furthermore, even when possessing the best of intentions, many of us are capable of saying something annoying or offensive during the course of a spirited conversation. Perhaps we were misunderstood, in which case hopefully we get a chance to explain ourselves more clearly. In circumstances where we said something we regret, then ideally we’d have an opportunity to apologize and possibly change our mind. These instances aren’t trolling, either.

But let’s say you become aware of an individual who often operates in a disingenuous space, frequently setting up “straw men” in discussions or mischaracterizing information or opinions for the apparent purpose of being critical, disruptive, or engaging in button-pushing. And maybe it involves a sort of “stalky” tracking or following of someone to continually hassle them in this way. Well then, that’s troll territory, and whether online or in-person, it’s no fun to deal with.

Trolling vs. gaslighting

Trolling and gaslighting are related concepts and practices. Both are intended to mess with someone’s head, and both are typically conducted under a veneer of civility.

Gaslighting is a form of deliberate manipulation intended to disorient, confuse, and frighten those on the receiving end. In both intensity of behavior and malicious intent, I regard it as a targeted step up from trolling.

Trolling as setting up the aggressor as victim

Trolls can push people’s buttons. They intend to provoke. And if they push hard enough, they may prompt an angry, accusatory response from the target of their attentions. When that occurs, the trolls may be the first to claim victim status.

I’ve seen this dynamic occur frequently in workplace bullying situations. The perpetrator is an expert button pusher. The target reacts emotionally, perhaps even accusing the perpetrator of wrongdoing, while the latter responds with incredulous disbelief and claims that they are being victimized. The “judo flip” having been completed, the target is put on the defensive.

Dr. Jennifer Freyd has given a more formal name to this process, with an acronym that sounds like something drawn from the Department of Defense: DARVO, short for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

Dealing with genuine troll behaviors at work

Effective trolls are devious and clever. They contemplate what they’re going to say and how they’re going to say it for maximum effect.

In terms of psychological makeup, some of the worst workplace trolls may have a personality disorder, such as narcissism, sociopathy, or psychopathy. Despite the diminutive imagery of the term, trolls can be pretty disturbed and determined individuals.

It’s one thing to deal with a nasty troll on social media, but it’s quite another to deal with such an individual at work. Put simply, the stakes are typically higher when it involves one’s employment. 

For dealing with social media trolls, Dr. Lakoff advises:

• “Avoid the engagement trap.” — In other words, don’t go down the rabbit hole with a troll, having fallen for the bait set out by the troll.
• “Frame the issue from your own viewpoint.” — Use your frame and perspective, not the troll’s.
• “Block liberally.” — Drop, block, mute, unfriend, whatever.

Well, in the work context, we can dismiss the third piece of advice, as it’s pretty darn hard to completely block a co-worker or boss. The first two suggestions may be possible, however.

So what kind of advice are people dispensing specifically about trolling and the workplace? I found helpful Michael Schneider’s 2018 piece for Inc., “3 Rules for Surviving Trolls at Work” (link here). He advises:

• “Kill them with kindness” — “As in most bullying cases, the other person is likely dealing with their own insecurities and is taking it out on others. Show them kindness and empathy, and it will likely suppress the trolling. Don’t let them pull you into their negativity, instead pull them into your serenity.”
• “Use humor to counteract.” — “Trolls like to make others the brunt of their jokes. They love the reactions and attention it brings from others. However, if you’re wittier than they are, they will likely back down.”
• “Address them individually” — “When kindnesses and wit doesn’t work, it’s time to call the person out and address the situation face-to-face. When stating how you feel, use “I” statements. They prevent the other person from shifting the blame or minimizing the severity, and they clarify the impact of the person’s behavior.”

The first two pieces of advice — employing outward kindness (even if it feels insincere) and using humor (though measured) — can be effective, especially if one is confident in their ability to respond. However, especially if the trolling is part of a pattern of targeted bullying and the aggressor is a superior, then calling out the behavior and the individual can backfire.

Conventional wisdom sometimes says that because bullies are cowards, they will naturally back down when confronted with their behavior. However, time and again, those of us who have learned interviewed workplace bullying targets have heard accounts of attempts to confront the perpetrator failing miserably, oftentimes causing the bullying and accompanying retaliation to worsen.

Bottom line: When trolling becomes more frequent, severe, and targeted, it has entered a phase of bullying-type mistreatment. Resources for dealing with workplace bullying may be accessed from the Need Help? page of this blog, link here.

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Related posts

Workplace bullying, DARVO, and aggressors claiming victim status (2019) (link here)

Gaslighting at work (2017, rev. 2018) (link here)

The bullied and the button pushers (2014) (link here)

When workplace bullies claim victim status: Avoiding the judo flip (2013) (link here)