How to make fertility loss a part of bereavement leave

Cassandra Pratt was on her way into work when she received the notification that her most recent embryo transfer had failed. The news was the latest in a series of challenges Pratt had faced in her fertility journey, and the office was the last place she wanted to be.  

"I was maybe about 100 yards from the train when I realized that I could not do it," she recalls. "I knew I needed to turn around and go home." 

Thankfully, Pratt, now SVP of people at fertility benefits provider Progyny, was able to utilize official paid leave for reproductive loss, which covers miscarriages, failed fertility treatments such as IVF and surrogacy, as well as failed adoption processes. 

Read more: Employees are picking up second jobs to gain fertility benefits

"Miscarriages are obviously physiologically and psychologically very difficult," Pratt says. "But imagine if you were going through a fertility journey where you had also spent months and months on an adoption process, a surrogacy process, or the IVF process, only to then find out that it was unsuccessful. The same heartbreak is also there."

The prevalence of paid bereavement leave has increased significantly in recent years — up to 90% from 79% in 2017, according to a 2023 survey from SHRM — but policies typically only cover the death of family and close friends. In fact, recent data from NFP found that less than a quarter of bereavement-leave policies allow an employee to take time off for a miscarriage or failed in vitro fertilization. 

But this type of time off is essential to recovering from the emotional stress of a family planning effort that did not come to fruition, Pratt says. 

"It's important to recognize that loss is a response to your emotional investment in something," Pratt says. "And just because it might not have been a pregnancy terminated, there is still a process of loss, because what you were hoping and working towards happening did not happen." 

Read more: The price of starting a family: Are fertility treatments LGBTQ friendly?

There have been strides to normalize the support for reproductive loss: Recently, California passed a bill that will require both private and public employers with five or more workers to provide up to five days off for a reproductive loss, which the state defined as failed adoption, failed surrogacy, miscarriage, stillbirth, or an unsuccessful assisted reproduction.

The mandate, which will go into effect Jan. 1, 2024, is a positive step toward encouraging more flexible leave policies, Pratt says. Incorporating reproductive loss in a PTO policy — and encouraging employees to use it — will benefit everyone in the short-and long-term. 

"Knowing that I didn't have to go into the office and sit with people without being able to express what I was going through was so important," she says. "I would not have brought my best self to work or been as useful to anyone around me. I needed time to understand my loss and really grasp it." 

It's been three years since Pratt went through her experience. To this day, she credits Progyny's policy as the main reason she is still at the company and maintains that any woman in her same position would feel the same if loss leave was provided to them. 

Read more: Three days is not enough: 4 things employers should know about bereavement

"Having an employer that supports you in really challenging personal times creates a type of loyalty that can't be reproduced by just having an interesting work product or good compensation," she says. "It humanizes all of the aspects of us at work." 

Companies looking to be more inclusive in their bereavement policy can start by re-evaluating their current leave policies and finding areas that can be expanded or repurposed, Pratt says. She also urges employers to train managers on the nuances of fertility loss to make work environments as comfortable and conducive as possible for women looking to share their experiences. 

"It's about looking at employees as whole people who go through a lot of different milestones throughout the course of their life," Pratt says. "And it's finding out as a company how you can support your employees through all of it."