5 ways to cut back on stress and negative language in the workplace

January 25, 2024 3:02 PM

Negative language in the workplace can do a number on morale, and when employees are stressed, they're even more likely to say something they'll regret. But, with some emotional awareness and practice, this professional pitfall can be easily avoided.

Eighty-seven percent of employees said that, when stressed, they have used language they shouldn't have, according to a recent survey from online language platform Preply. Another 40% said that when they've used this type of language, it has led to misunderstandings or conflicts with others in the workplace, and 67% said that exposure to this negativity has reduced their motivation. The survey found that industries where this behavior is most pervasive included industrial/manufacturing, hospitality, corporate and healthcare.

Topping Preply's list of most regrettable phrases was, "I don't care," which 36% of respondents admitted to using in the past. "Not my job" came in second with 29%, and "This is a waste of time" was third with 24%. Less popular but still notable were phrases like "I don't have time for this", "You're wrong" and "I knew this would fail." Leaders need to make sure this kind of negative talk is not tolerated in the workplace, and it starts with their own behavior, says Sylvia Johnson, head of methodology at Preply.

"Even if you do so by accident, using some of these phrases is stressful for other people," she says. "There is nothing wrong with admitting that you might be slightly overwhelmed; it's how you deal with it that is so important."

Johnson offers these five tips for fostering positive workplace communication and not letting stress get the best of us.

Recognize signs of stress in yourself and others

Keeping an eye out for red flags that indicate increased stress in others can help leaders and peers handle these situations with understanding. At the same time, knowing when you personally are dealing with additional strain that may impact your communication style is very important. A change in communication style, lower engagement level and uncommon procrastination can all be signs that someone is feeling additional strain in their lives. By simply being aware of a change in someone's behavior, the opportunity to talk with them and offer support arises, says Johnson.

"When we're stressed, we tend to over- or under-communicate," she says. "If you can recognize that [another's] behavior is being triggered by stress, then you can be more empathetic about it. Try to notice these things which are a little bit outside of yourself."

Read more:

Open enrollment communications that rock

Practice controlled language

At the end of the day, it's up to individuals to be mindful of how they speak to others. Johnson recommends making good communication a constant priority and identifying practices that allow the necessary time and space to make good decisions when stress is a factor.

"You need to think, 'How can I control my language under these stressful situations,'" she says. 'How can I manage my emotions? Do I need to just take a step back? Do I need to take a pause? I need to think before I speak.' There are lots of different ways you can help with communication even when [you're] under a lot of stress."

Use calming language to counteract stress

Much like a parent saying, "I'm very disappointed in you," there are certain phrases at work that can trigger anxiety and worsen stress at work. For example, "We need to talk" sparked dread in 63% of Preply's survey respondents. On the opposite end, 68% said "We'll figure this out" was a comforting phrase and over half appreciated hearing, "I'm here for you" and "We can handle this."

"When you see that somebody is beginning to perhaps shut down due to stress, you need to use language that inspires calmness and inspires clarity," Johnson says. "Try to create a safe environment, making sure they understand that they're in a supportive and non judgmental conversation where they can also open up. Even a simple, 'I've noticed you've been quieter than normal recently, is there anything I can do to help? Is there anything you want to talk about? Offering help is super important. You can also try some of the common phrases that we found in our survey, such as 'We're figuring this out' and 'I am here.'"

Read more:

Skip the small talk: 5 cities where office communication thrives

Train managers

Stress affects everyone, and leadership at all levels needs support as well. Johnson recommends offering regular training on stress management that equips managers to better navigate their own stress as well as support those under them, and encourages transparency.

"Stress often comes as part and parcel of the job that we're all doing, so remove the secrecy of 'I can't tell anyone I'm stressed, they're going to think I'm not up to do my job,' when that really isn't the case," she says. "Stress shapes and influences our decisions, our emotions and our actions. It can be coming from a personal situation or from a work situation. Being able to discuss it openly as a manager is a great first step: If I know that I'm going to have a particularly stressful and particularly difficult week, I might mention that in a team meeting so they're aware that my behavior may slightly change. And they're also perhaps going to be a little bit more patient with me as I go through that."

Acknowledge a stress slip up

While speaking in a way that upsets others is never ideal, it can happen to anyone. When it does, a humble apology goes a long way in making amends, and shows those around you that this is not your normal behavior.

"When we say something we regret because we were stressed, one of the most important skills we can also learn is how to recover," says Johnson. "If you do or say something, be open and honest with your colleagues by apologizing for what you said. We're all human, and most people will relate and understand in those situations, if you own those words and you own your behavior."