Using mindfulness skills to improve your daily life

In 2013, Oprah Winfrey launched a mindfulness series with meditation guru Deepak Chopra. This unlikely pairing bridged the divide between spiritual leadership and American stardom. They tapped into the desire most people have to lead more centered, aware daily lives.

Hollywood may have increased American interest in mindfulness meditation skills. Yet, these powerful mental health tools have roots in Buddhism and Easter philosophy. They also have well-established scientific merit. Mindfulness meditation tools help reduce stress levels, address anxiety, and lessen depression. Some psychologists even use them in mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral therapy (MBCT).

To set a foundation for a mindfulness practice, begin by understanding basic skills. Then, over time, you’ll see why people worldwide make mindfulness an integral part of their lives.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a form of meditation. Meditation might sound intimidating, but practicing mindfulness can be easy and accessible. Online and self-help resources can help you manage the stresses of everyday life.

When you practice mindfulness, you help yourself pay attention. Mindfulness encourages observing your actions, surroundings, emotions, thoughts, and sensations. On the surface, mindfulness is a simple concept. However, it enables you to tune into your experiences and find inner peace.

Consider that your focus and concentration are generally pointed outward. You evolved from ancestors whose survival depended on paying attention to threats. Thus, the human experience is attention-driven by nature. It's directed at things you need to do, external information, and judgment of the world around you.

As modern life becomes more distracting, you may dismiss your inner experience. Focusing on outside stimuli can cause you to miss cues like an elevated heart rate or anxiety. Mindfulness meditation can bring your awareness back inward to reduce anxiety and stress.

The busy world also camouflages the impact of your inner critic. Inner work with mindfulness helps you check automatic negative thoughts and see judgments. Shedding your judgment helps you exercise compassion and empathy.

Why are mindfulness skills important to develop?

When you spend much of your life on autopilot, it’s easy to lose sight of what matters most. And doing so can have serious health consequences.

Let’s take chronic stress as an example. It’s a slow burn. Many sufferers experience significant stress symptoms before recognizing the issue.

Self-awareness and mindfulness activities won’t magically reduce your stress levels. But they can make you aware of what’s distressing you. This awareness can empower you to make changes to reduce the stress in your life.

Here are some of the other benefits of making mindfulness part of stress reduction:

1. Improved resilience: Mindfulness practices equip you with tools to navigate life with resilience. They foster acceptance, helping you bounce back from setbacks. One study showed mindfulness practices help millennials increase resilience and mental well-being.

2. Increased self-esteem: Being aware of emotions might help you treat yourself kindly. Emotional awareness can be useful for building self-esteem and increasing self-efficacy. Mindfulness also helps with understanding and self-compassion. It lets you recognize mistakes and flaws without harsh judgment or criticism.

3. A positive state of mind: Positivity enhances happiness and contentment. Through mindful practices, you can learn to focus on the present moment. You can then reduce negative thoughts and emotions. A positive state of mind can improve mental health, boost optimism, and lead to a more fulfilling life.

4. Better physical health: Your mental experience may help you lead a healthier life. Some studies show that mindful practices can improve pain management outcomes. They may also improve outcomes of certain types of illness where stress is a factor. A meta-analysis suggests mindfulness practices may lead to better sleep.

5. Better relationships: Mindfulness can help you improve listening skills. Listening better can help you increase empathy and compassion. With these improvements, you may find your interpersonal relationships are easier to maintain. Mindfulness may also increase acceptance by helping you understand different personality traits.

6. Improved self-management: Bringing awareness to your thoughts can help you observe without judgment. This type of self-management also makes it easier to achieve emotional regulation. Over time, you may see your self-care habits improve as you become aware of your needs and tune into meeting them.

7. Reduced rumination: Rumination is repeatedly thinking about distressing situations, conversations, or mistakes. It’s common with ADHD and anxiety, and it can have negative impacts on your health and well-being. Mindfulness counters this by helping you stay in the present. It enables you to reduce overthinking and promotes mental clarity. One meta-analysis showed that mindfulness practices may reduce ruminative thinking.

Regular practice of mindfulness exercises helps you achieve its stress-reducing benefits. It may take time to develop the habit. But with small goals and consistency, you’ll see quicker results.

The 6 core mindfulness skills

The concept of core mindfulness is a part of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It includes six skills aimed at creating the following three states of mind: 

1. Wise mind
2. Emotional mind
3. Reasonable mind

These skills are divided into two categories: three “what” skills and three “how” skills. 

Mindfulness “what skills”

Mindfulness's "what skills" involve observing, describing, and participating. They bring your full attention to your inner life, allowing you to stay present with what you observe and experience it without judgment. To improve these skills, you must practice fully engaging with the current activity. 

Mindfulness “what skills” involve the following aspects:

Being observant: Observing is about paying close attention to the present moment. You focus on what is happening inside and outside yourself without trying to change it. Observation involves noticing the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and sensations around you. The practice of observing centers on becoming aware without reacting. 

Practicing describing: Describing means using words to note your inner and outer experiences. It encourages you to reframe what you see. The reframing process helps you divide facts from interpretations. Instead of thinking, "I'm terrible at this," you might say, "I find this task challenging." Describing asks you to voice your experiences without letting emotions skew the story.

Increasing participation: Participating in mindfulness means truly engaging in current activities. It's about teaching yourself to be fully in the experience of the present moment. Active mindfulness helps you live in the now and avoid dredging up past or future worries. 

Mindfulness “how skills”

Mindfulness “how skills” describe how to approach your meditation practice. These are less concrete than “what skills.” Instead, they’re about the state of mind you’re in while you explore your inner self.

Mindfulness “how skills” involve the following aspects:

Being non-judgmental: You might discover uncomfortable truths while building mindfulness skills. These could include self-critical thinking, judgments of others, or stereotyping people. Pay attention and accept that they exist, letting go of criticizing yourself for them. Judgments separate you from your growth journey. They let your inner critic discourage you from progress. 

Thinking one-mindfully: Mindfulness requires limiting distractions and focusing only on one task. Depending on the type of meditation, that task will vary. For instance, mindful breathing involves focusing only on your breath. Body scanning means paying attention only to physical sensations.

It’s normal to find your mind wandering during mindfulness and meditation. When you do, gently bring your attention back to the task at hand. Every time you do, you’ll improve your ability to control your mind.

Being effectiveness-focused: Building a mindfulness practice takes time and doesn’t hinge on fast success. Focus on doing things effectively. Avoid self-judgment over perceived “failure” when your mind wanders.

Failure is a part of developing mindfulness skills. Treat yourself as you would a friend. Offer comfort, show support, and encourage yourself to try again.

Making structured mindfulness exercises a habit will help you stay on track. Here’s how you can be mindful every day.

1. Set a mindfulness goal for yourself

You develop mindfulness as you would a muscle. The best way to do this is to set realistic goals for your mindful activities. Name the goal of your activity, like reducing stress or practicing non-judgment. Then, assign it a time or frequency. For instance, you might aim to spend five minutes a day on mindful breathing. 

As you achieve goals, increase the frequency, time, or number of mindfulness practices.

2. Make it part of your routine

Carve out time in your schedule to practice mindfulness skills. It doesn’t matter what time of day you choose. Find time to focus on mindfulness, whether it's walking, breathing, or meditating.

You can use reminders like an alarm clock to remember it’s time to practice your daily routine. Another option is to pair your mindfulness exercises with another daily activity. For example, you could practice mindful breathing while the coffee brews each morning.

3. Create a mindfulness space

Having a dedicated area for mindfulness skills may make practicing mindfulness easier. In this way, it's like setting up a productive work environment. You don’t need a whole room for practice. Set aside a small, comfortable area to use for sessions. 

4. Pick a mindfulness technique that works for you

Everyone has different meditation strengths and challenges. Personalize your mindfulness with activities to suit your needs and lifestyle. Try different options to see if you gravitate to some exercises more than others. Pick one that you enjoy and can do consistently.

These are some common mindfulness methods to consider in your self-improvement journey:

1. Sitting meditation, where you rest upright, close your eyes, and focus on breathing
2. A body scan, which involves paying attention to inward cues to assess your body's feelings
3. Journaling to put your thoughts on a page for later review or to release them
4. Guided meditation using an app, podcast, or another person to direct you
5. Mindful eating, in which you close your eyes and focus on the flavor, texture, and aroma of your food
6. Walking meditation sessions, where you pay attention to your surroundings

How mindfulness skills integrate with traditional therapy

If it's difficult to live in the present moment due to mental health challenges, you have options. You could consider dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) as a partner in mindfulness. 

Dialectical behavioral therapy helps you regulate emotions and improve relationships. It achieves this through mindfulness practices and building distress tolerance skills.

Like home practice of mindfulness skills, a DBT therapist is best when you want to do the following:

• Identify, understand, and accept your feelings
• Learn how to better manage emotions
• Make positive changes in your life

Practicing mindfulness can be effective as self-care for mental health. When paired with DBT, the following practices may apply:

• You may take part in traditional talk therapy
• A therapist may add mindfulness exercises to focus on the present rather than the past

• You may do work in group sessions or focus on one-on-one therapy

DBT can help you address depression, substance abuse disorders, or eating disorders. If you think DBT could help you, find a mental health professional trained in this method.

How a mindfulness coach can help

If you want support in your meditation or mindfulness, a mindfulness or somatic coach may help.

Look for a coach specializing in mindful practices. These coaches are eager to share their knowledge on building more mindful habits. A coach is a great partner for learning techniques, reducing stress, and finding inner peace.

A coach can help develop your mindfulness skills and practices in the following ways: 

Helping you identify goals

Your coach can help you set realistic expectations and goals for practicing mindfulness. They can help you build skills awareness, track progress, and recognize improvements.

Creating a mindfulness practice plan

You and your coach will develop mindfulness routines tailored to your goals. Having a partner can keep things manageable and impactful.

Sharing new methods and resources

Your coach can teach skills and mindfulness exercises. These may include meditation, deep breathing, or body scans. You can try different options to help you discover what works best. A coach may offer other resources, such as helpful mindfulness podcasts, books, or apps.

Troubleshooting any obstacles 

Coaches can help you overcome obstacles to practicing mindfulness skills practice. For instance, they can offer tips to overcome distractions or difficult emotions.

Holding you accountable

A coach is a great way to check your progress on new mindfulness exercises. Coaching sessions are a chance to report your success and stay on track with your goals.

Cultivate mindfulness skills for a lifetime of contentment

Mindfulness isn't only about completing an act like a meditation. Mindfulness, meditation, and other practices are about building positive skills over time. They’re centered on problem-solving, paying attention, and creating awareness. Developing mindfulness skills is key to developing a calm and resilient mind.

Mindfulness practices require time, patience, and awareness. They’re not always easy to develop, and they require you to open your heart to new experiences. Developing new skills is tough, and you’ll inevitably fail once or twice. But that’s part of the process.

BetterUp can help you integrate your new mindfulness skills at work and at home. You can become a better listener and forge better connections with others. With a coach, you'll have a partner in building a more mindful life.